There are some things that we both don't enjoy. The dishes.
Laundry. Cleaning the bathroom. Cleaning in general. Waking up an hour (or two)
too early to toddlers demanding breakfast or fighting or crying. Making coffee
(even though we desperately want it).
But we keep going and finding ways to work with each other.
I ask him which chores are important to him (dishes) and he
asks me which things are important to me (no salt covered shoes on the floor)
and we both decide what really can go by the wayside if we are too busy
(laundry). And with that we make it work. We work to help each other in doing
the things we don't like and leaving the things be that don't really matter.
The crazy thing is that I am living my dream in doing this.
I don't think this is what I was thinking when I was dreaming it, I imagined it
to be a little less work and a lot more kissing. But I love that it's real and
it's life and it's love.
I think the puppy love era lasted maybe 6 months or a year.
Then the fights became longer, bigger, more intense. But so did our will to
press on and love deeper, despite the deep pain we could cause each other.
The truth is that my dream is much harder than I imagined,
but it also contains a much deeper love then I imagined. A love that is willing
to admit a wrong (or many wrongs). A love that is willing to do the hard things
for the other person. A love that is willing to stand by the other person even
when the hurt is deep. A love that is not afraid to encourage the other person
to stand strong in their faith. A love that is willing to challenge the other
person to grow into a stronger relationship with God.
We aren't perfect. One time I asked myself why I had married
someone who had such different interests than mine. He prefers video games, I
prefer books. I like to be outside, he likes to be inside. He likes
documentaries, and I like comedies (or really almost anything but a
documentary). He thinks deeply, and I feel deeply.
I married him, I fell in love with him, because I saw that
his greatest desire was the same as mine: to follow God in everything he would
do in life. To seek God’s will and to serve Him.
Even though I didn't realize it when I was 13 and dreaming
about falling in love, or when I was 19 and marrying a man I barely knew, I
realize it more now that love takes work and my dream of following God with
this man by my side takes work. It takes continually asking for forgiveness and
help and it takes humility and it takes looking to God to help our brokenness
and to make us whole. 3 ½ years has been enough time together that it makes our
life together seem like the same old, same old. Living in a (crazy) routine
with him, and growing older with him, and seeking God with him... I wouldn't
trade this for anything and I wouldn't trade living it with him for anyone or
anything else.
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| August 2014 |
